1/12/2020
My word for this year is “balance.” My word for 2019 was “enthusiasm,” and I truly took on everything I did with the spirit of that word. I learned a lot, grew a lot, and set myself up for an extremely promising 2020.
The year 2020 has always seemed like such an exciting milestone to me. There’s so many different meaning just in the numbers; 2020 vision is perfect (though I’ve never had it), and the year just feels like it should live up to that.
This year, I am aiming to readjust my priorities and balance everything I am doing this year to start preparing for my future career and life after pharmacy school.
In church this morning, our teacher shared with us a quote from Amy Voskamp, “No amount of anxiety changes the future.” That really spoke to me, as I am such a planner and am constantly thinking of what I should be doing now to get to where I need to be in the future. Sometimes that planning can spiral into anxiety, into questioning every decision and worrying about things that are often out of my control. It sometimes seems to me like everything I’m doing now will make such a huge impact on my future, and in some ways that is true.
Have you ever played that game where someone hides something under 1 of 3 cups and then mixes them all around, hoping you can guess the cup that is hiding the item? It sometimes feels like God is hiding our true purpose under that cup and we are expected to watch him mix up them up until we choose the opportunity we want to pursue. But when that cup is lifted, what if it is empty? What if we chose the wrong one? Is our whole purpose in life ruined?
No. God does not work like that. God is not hiding our true purpose, mixing up all the cups and saying it’s too bad if we don’t figure out which one is correct. If you choose to go in a different direction, you don’t take the opportunity, the job, the internship, you don’t go to the event, your whole life is not going to be ruined.
Matthew 5:14 says, “You are the light of the world–like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.” No matter where you end up, what job you take, what school you go to, what GPA you graduate with, you will be a light. If you pick the “wrong” cup, your light will not be hidden. Romans 8:28 says, “God causes every detail of our lives to work together for good.” No matter what tiny decisions seem so important right now, the outcome will always see God working in our lives to show your light to the world.
My goal this year is to always keep in mind what is most important to me. Sometimes I tell myself, “If it’s not going to be important in 10 years, it’s not worth worrying about now.” I know I will be in a very different place by then, and I hope that balancing my priorities this year will make this decade one of positive change. I hope that my vision in 2020 will create a life in the future that will be showing light to those around me in His name.
